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I’d built up a number of other ‘client’ habits over the decades, which ranged from the very serious (cocaine, amphetamines) to the aggravating (junk food, sweets) via all sorts of other issues (painkillers, caffeine).
All of which needed to be unpicked and dealt with one by one.
It’s baffling and shocking to see them turn into cold and blaming strangers.
After years of affection and intimacy, how can they suddenly declare that they don’t feel love, even worse, that they have never loved their partners at all?
Depression, homelessness, the break up of the family unit, losing one’s job, losing one’s career, losing one’s house, losing one’s mind, losing one’s life even.
But perhaps the most insidious aspect of this disease is the dawning realisation that even if you manage to quit the booze in time, you’ve still got half the battle to go. You’ll need to call the police and the coroner’s office. There are rotten and half eaten animal carcasses that need to be cleared up and disposed of. You have never seen so many mangled shopping trolleys, broken children’s bikes and unwanted cars. There are burst canisters of toxic waste that have long since leached into the ground.
“I was sitting in her kitchen feeling sorry for myself while she made dinner.
But, I've soldiered on, kept my chin up and still took a lot of comfort in the fact that, despite everything, we still had each other and we still had a lot of love. I'm experiencing feelings of anxiety and panic. All my optimism has gone, and I feel like I have nothing left to fight with anymore. Just him being around makes me feel worse, and I have to force myself to be affectionate, and I have to pretend to be my normal myself.
But, the very worst thing is that I feel like I don't have any love left for my husband anymore. I genuinely feel that if I won the Lottery tomorrow I would walk away from him, and never look back.
Their answer is often to leave and find happiness elsewhere.
The specific effects of depression will differ in every relationship, but this is the problem I hear about most often and the one I lived with.
The man she married turned out to be abusive and unfaithful.