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I went out with a girlfriend in Montclair, NJ, to a fun place called Just Jakes. It was a little deceiving, sure, but I thought telling the guys I was a single mom would influence their answers—and I wanted raw thoughts.It was lovely being out sans Jack, having a cold beer at the bar, surrounded by other adults enjoying drinks, conversation, and music. I videotaped their answers, transcribed what they said, and here’s what I got: “It’s not the ideal situation for me.You might have some really great ideas about how you think she could do things, and you might have some strong ideas about how children should behave. You're at the mercy of custody agreements, parent-teacher conferences, skinned knees, stuffy noses, and — buy her wine for this one — lice. Throw everything you know about Sunday Funday out the window. Until the mini people are old enough to get their own cereal and turn on the cartoons, there's no such thing as sleeping in. My brain constantly is swimming with logistical problems like, "I'm working until 5 and my daughter is with her father on Wednesday and Thursday, but he has his son and daughter and they have baseball until 9, and he's coaching, so that's out.And Saturday might work, if we meet for coffee before 11 am when my daughter is done with gymnastics, but that's hoping his babysitter gets there before 9.Dad would very likely still be in the picture and involved in kids lives.Secondly,if mom and kids are a different race,specifically black? Please I don't need anyone to make a big deal about the race issue I am just looking for honest opinions.
I’m young and I want to have fun, out in the world, not be tied down to someone’s living room while her kid sleeps in the bedroom. I admire my friend for being a stand-up guy and taking care of his son, so my opinion of a woman doing the same … Also, her ex had issues with me being around his daughter because he was threatened by the relationship that was forming.Also, my friend’s ex had a kid that always wanted to sleep in his mom’s bed and that would be a problem for me. I want all the perks that come with a grown-up relationship.” “A lot of my friends are divorced and one guy even has a kid after a one-night stand. Her children's games are the only ones she wants to play. Feel like she's perfect except you don't want kids?The crowd was a mix of college guys and young professionals. And when the topic of my work came up, I told a small group of guys that I was working on an interesting article that required me to tap real-life guys for their opinions on dating single moms. It seems like baggage and I wouldn’t want to be involved in any baby-daddy drama.” “My mom was a single mom most of my childhood, so I have tons of respect for single mothers.I would absolutely go on a date with a single mom and see where it could lead.
Personally, I've struggled with the challenges of online dating, the last time I dated (pre-marriage) the internet was something that barely existed!